


A Streetcar Named Traitor

by Spoon888



Series: Twitter Warm Up Prompt Fills [10]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Implied Relationships, M/M, Megatron Shut Up Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25579903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: Skyfire convinces Starscream to leave the Decepticons, which would be all well and good if it didn't mean Megatron wasn't outside the Ark, screaming like a maniac all night and ruining everybody's sleep schedule.Optimus decides to take drastic measures.
Relationships: Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers), implied Megatron/Starscream
Series: Twitter Warm Up Prompt Fills [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719604
Comments: 60
Kudos: 392





	A Streetcar Named Traitor

**Author's Note:**

> For @strawberryhibi1 on twitter

It was the two-hundredth-and-fifty-fourth ragged howl of, " **Starscream**!" that finally tipped Optimus over the edge of tolerance. He ripped the foam pillow off his helm, which had utterly failed its purpose in drowning out the pained screams of the lunatic outside the _Ark_ anyway, much like dampening his audial sensors right down to their lowest settings had. 

He could _still **hear** him. _

Perhaps Megatron had an outlier ability Autobot Intelligence had failed to disclose to him, he thought to himself hysterically, scrambling out of his berth in such a flustered state his sheets became tangled in his legs and almost tripped him up. An outlier ability which allowed Megatron to transmit vocal sound waves through the _Ark's_ triple-layered ultra-steel hull, it's premium-grade insulation, up four deck levels, through Optimus's audials, and _directly_ into his throbbing processor. 

" **Starscream, you traitor!** " 

Stood in the centre of his darkened quarters, Optimus shuttered his optics in resignation. 

' _He'll get bored_ ,' Jazz had laughed five minutes into the situation, before they had realised what they'd be in for. ' _He's not gonna stand out there all night_!' 

Three hours later and Megatron wasn't showing any signs boredom yet.

" **Come out and face me, Starscream!"**

In fact, he might even be getting louder.

With a silent prayer to the Matrix nestled besides his spark, Optimus removed the 'do not disturb' block on his comm-link and immediately the control panel on his wrist lit up with seven separate calls. He answered Jazz's first, mostly out of spite. 

"Is he _bored_ yet Jazz?" Optimus growled, forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other to leave his quarters and head up to the bridge. 

He heard Jazz's awkward, humourless laugh as static through the speaker, " _Prowl wants to shoot him."_

"Perhaps we should let him," Optimus growled darkly, and hung up before he said worse.

" **Starscreaaaam**!" 

Optimus arrived on the bridge, six deranged howls of 'Starscream' later, to join his extended High Command, plus a few other curious, but mostly annoyed subordinates that had come to watch the show. Prowl sat at Teletraan I, surrounded by tired, frowning faces, all of them studying the screen playing footage from the security camera above the main entrance into the ship. 

Optimus felt a mixed wave of disappointment and bewilderment at the sight of the grey armoured figure pacing back and forth like a caged tiger, occasionally lashing out at an undeserving pebble in his path by kicking it up into the stratosphere. This might be a new low for Megatron. Worse even than the purple griffin. Optimus wondered who he had to petition to get a new arch-nemesis. 

"No audio?" He enquired, joining them in front of the monitor. 

"We don't need it," Ratchet growled, arms folded across his chest and dark circles under his optics. "I could hear him in the wash-racks-"

" **Starscream! Come out here this second**!" 

"And how _is_ our 'guest' doing?" Optimus queried after the seeker that had caused all this mayhem in the first place, glancing at Wheeljack. "This can't be easy for him. I'm assuming he can hear the yelling." 

Wheeljack shrugged, "Skyfire says he's recharging-"

" _How_?!" Ratchet snapped, optic twitching. 

"Apparently he's used to the noise. Decepticons don't have inside-voices." 

There was a chorus of agreeing grumbles. 

" **Starscream, I'll blast this ship apart if I have to!** " 

"Have we tried negotiating with him?" Optimus stroked his mask thoughtfully, watching Megatron swing his fusion cannon about. 

Jazz nodded, "Ironhide leaned outta an airlock about twenty minutes ago and told him to 'fuck off'."

"And what did Megatron say?" 

"He said a lot of things, Prime," Prowl interrupted crossly. 

Optimus could well imagine. 

"Well, Starscream clearly has no intention of leaving any time tonight and _I_ have no intention of forcing him out. Nor would Skyfire ever forgive us if we tried. And though there are a great many sacrifices I am willing to make for the freedom of others, losing recharge is _not_ one of them. Prowl," he glanced down at his tactician. "Get rid of him."

Prowl's finger moved towards the big red button on the console in front of him.

"But keep it non-lethal," Optimus added. He was annoyed but he wasn't _that_ annoyed. 

Prowl's face scrunched into that infamous scowl of his but he managed not to lose his temper quite yet. His finger moved across to the blue button. He pressed it, and on screen, an unsuspecting Megatron was dowsed in fire retardant foam. He disappeared under a cloud of white fluff, only waving hands visible. 

" **Starscream** -!" They heard him still raging, " **Starscream, your tricks won't save -** "

"Hit him again," Optimus encouraged. 

Another load of foam was dumped on him, this time knocking him off his feet, legs in the air. It made for some entertaining footage. Jazz leaned around Prowl to press 'record'. Megatron stumbled upright, soaking and blinded by foam.

 **"Foam!** " He roared, " **You think the Mighty Megatron can be defeated by** -!"

"Again." 

Megatron was knocked flat on his back by a third avalanche of pressurised foam. Prowl leaned back in his seat, watching passively. "How many times do we have to do this?" 

"Until Soundwave comes to pick him up, or we run out of foam." 

A panting Megatron was crawling on his hands and knees back towards the front entrance, slipping and skidding in the sodden earth, " **Sta-Starscream** -!"

This time Prowl hit the button before Optimus even gave the order. Jazz pulled up a chair and dug into his subspace for snacks, "Looks like movie-night is back on, huh Prowler." 

Prowl glared at Jazz, hitting the button a fifth time, without looking. 

"- **ack-! -scream-!"**


End file.
